Day 15

April 28, 2020

 

The Grind-ies are the gravelly, down and dirty, mentally painful, zero-to-something thinking, learning, and producing that it takes to create something of your own. The Grind-ies Challenge is a 30 day pursuit to enter the Grind-ies mindset on a regular basis and document the experience. 

 

I cried on my run tonight. If you don't know me, I'm a 36-year-old male who, for whatever reason, has great intrapersonal intelligence. 

 

I'm in tune with almost every emotional or psychological change I go through. 

 

This challenge has forced my boulder of creative passion to roll into the "money" part of my life pie and unwedge itself from the block of whatever it was keeping buried inside me. 

 

I realized tonight that I always wanted a family member to give me a genuine hug, tell me I'm doing a good job, and give me loving and honest feedback about myself. 

 

But I never got that because I'm from a weird family, full of people with personality disorders and addiction issues. 

 

Yeah. 

 

I sat by the canal I was running along and let it out. It had been brewing for the whole run; I pretended I was speaking into my headphones when really I was talking myself through some things.

 

My back ached for a warm hand to console it, but nothing came, just like always.

 

I took the pain head on and hid the sobs from my exercising peers.


It's okay. I've taken on deeper demons than this. I actually saw it as routine.

 

Not callous, just routine.

 

I felt relief by the time the run was over.

 

And now I feel emotionally lighter.

 

Action is powerful, and focus is honesty in action.

 

Day 15

Time in the Grind-ies: 2 hours, 15 minutes

Projects: work-for-hire gig

How I felt afterward: Good. Not too tired. I did other work but only counted my work-for-hire job; trying to build my stamina with that type of writing.

 

Day 16

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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