I'm changing this site from my growth-inspired tales to a resource for overcoming psychological abuse. Yeah, heavy stuff.
This change is birthed by a positive phase of reinvention.
I don't mean to pontificate when I write these posts, I just wanna share the latest updates with the people who support and care about me.
Now, heeeeerree we go.
Last November, I met with a local business owner who puts on structured recess programs for elementary schools around town. His company would hire "coaches" who'd go to schools and play with kids during recess.
We'd been meeting for about a year, talking about books and youth programs.
I had a gut feeling something was going to happen the day we met.
His company was in bad shape due to staffing issues. He'd have to constantly hire and manage 15 - 20 people who were responsible enough to show up and engage with kids, but were free during the middle of the day.
I asked if he wanted to sell.
"There's nothing to really sell."
He asked if I'd come in and help.
"Will you pay me as a company?"
So from November to June I worked for his company (hiring, going to the recesses, scheduling) and got paid as a business—giving my book-writing operation resources to grow. (I kept my serving job at night to pay my own bills.)
But sometime this past spring, after 10 years of lunch/recess programming, he decided this would be his last semester. Then I, acting as my own small business, put out some proposals to try to get an account or two of my own.
Starting August 6, Socially Acceptable will be a vendor for one elementary. I, along with 1-2 employees, will go to the school during recess and play games with students.
This is a game changer.
Meanwhile, this past spring, I put on a 6-week writing workshop at a women's center. The classes encouraged students to put their incredible stories on paper. It was very moving.
After the workshop's run, the director asked if I'd write a reading assessment test so her women could understand their own reading levels.
This, too, was a game changer.
I dove in, thinking it'd only take a month. Ha.
I wrote the assessment test, but learned there's so much more to it: a reading scale ("this student reads at a 5th grade level"), a teacher's guide, a way to measure progress, the actual learning materials, and practice exercises/worksheets.
Regardless of my naivete about the time frame, I went all in and started selling World's Finest Chocolate to support the program's development.
At the same time I began selling these bars, I read (part of) a book on business models. Hmmm...new thoughts formed: "I no longer have to be a local author who pounds the pavement until my shoes wear out. I can position my operation anyplace there's reading and writing."
After a few hot days selling bars outside coffee shops, I assembled these boxes:
And tied a fortune cookie-like message to each bar:
Hmm....business models...being wherever there's reading and writing...a cause...curriculum...a vehicle for marketing...
My self-worth has changed a lot lately. "Maybe I'm worth it. Maybe I'm enough," I've been telling myself. Generic? Sure. Authentic? Yes.
I'm the poster boy for overcoming psychological garbage, pulling out the demons, and changing myself at the deepest layer. I used to be a really messed-up person. I went through every stage to change: anger, sadness, emotional breakdowns, being a douche, guilt, pain, brain changes, therapy, breaking up with family members, pursuing a passion, and getting out of my comfort zone. It was exhaustive, time-consuming, and downright messy. I didn't ask for this path, but I've recently accepted it as my calling. I was born into it.
That acceptance changes my point-of-view of the world. It allows me to accept others and not project my inferiority complex onto them.
I've healed in the most honest way possible.
And now I'm meeting people who are getting away from narcissists, reinventing their lives, and getting to the core of themselves.
I accept I'm a model, and that acceptance breeds evolution.
Thank you for supporting me on this journey. The donations, the dinners, the sales, the reviews, the emotional warmth, and the likes and shares were my lifeblood. I appreciate them and you. Thank you, even to the people who dislike me. Good for you. There's something in there—play with it.
I love you. The next chapter awaits.
P.S. I'll probably post on FB less, so feel free to subscribe via that box that pops up. I'll somehow get my tales and updates to the people who care.