Emotional Discomfort vs. Lifestyle
Have you ever woken up and felt emotional discomfort? That, "Ugh, this isn't what I want my life to be," feeling? Well right now I have none of that, but my lifestyle is pretty shitty. No car, living in a room, and living on the edge because a lot of things are on the cusp of either working or not working.
It's like a trade off. You wake up happy while you walk to the bus. Is it worth it? For me it is. Is it worth it for others? I don't know, but I do have clues.
I have to take an Uber or a Lyft a few times per week. Small talk is inevitable. Something like, "I just went full time as an author," usually gets said. Surprisingly, responses are very similar. "Wow, at least you had the balls to go for it," is a common one.
My thought is, "More like I could withstand the torture until it became somewhat real." Balls? Courage? Sure, it takes that, but perseverance is the real answer. Where does perseverance come from? A surplus of positive emotions that can outweigh the torture.
It's almost as if there are two routes of life. An ongoing, slow dose of emotional pain or a bunch all at once. Maybe there's a middle. I hope so. I can't say I have many clues to back up this proposed "middle." Are we as human beings that binary? Either you're doing what you're supposed to do or not? Can that be? I don't know but I'm going to investigate it.